I love my job but today was shitty. We had an accident and ended up air lifting a kid to the hospital. I haven’t gotten any recent updates, but I believe he will be alright.
This is the second time I’ve been on scene for an accident serious enough to warrant life flight, and both times I’ve felt as though I was completely useless and/or actively screwing up. I know most of that stems from inexperiece and not knowing what to do, but I still hate not being more useful on scene. This time was better than the first, in that I did not have a panic attack when told to call 911. However, I felt unsure of how to handle traffic/bystanders. I obviously didn’t want to give them the full scope of the accident, but I felt awful when the helicopter showed up after I had told a few people that it was a minor accident (in an effort to get them to move and to stop prying). Someone sitting in traffic called me out on it and I can’t help but feel like I was in the wrong. Ultimately it didn’t affect the outcome of the accident and I know better for next time, but I still feel as though I should have done better. I’m seriously looking in to first responder/emt classes now, because I know this won’t be the last time I find myself in this situation.