This has apparently become an unemployment blog
I’m working on three job applications, and all are due next week. I was super excited about all of these jobs when I heard about them, and I still am, but I lost my momentum and I don’t know how to get back up to speed. I’m not great at keeping myself on track. Over the past three days, I have run errands, crocheted, baked, and otherwise procrastinated instead of working on my applications. I don’t know what is wrong with me…I want to work, and I miss having a purpose for getting out of bed in the morning, but I’ve lost all confidence in myself lately. I have this paralyzing fear that even if I do get a job, I won’t do very well and I’ll end up disappointing everyone from the person who hired me to the people who trained and recommended me, even though I know it’s completely irrational to feel that way. I kicked ass at my temp job (menial though it was), and I know that given the opportunity I could do the same at any of these jobs I’m applying for.
On the bright side, my computer seems as though it will bounce back from The Great Lentil Soup Incident of 2013. I won’t know until my new keyboard arrives and I’m able to log in and have it up and running for a little bit, but barring any damage to the processor, it should make a full recovery.
Also on the bright side, my fiance and I have someone to spend Thanksgiving with. My dad’s friend, his wife, and her mother invited us over for dinner. On one hand, I’ll really miss the familial aspect of Thanksgiving. I love hanging out and catching up (and having a few glasses of wine) with our immediate and extended families, but I will not miss the stress and tension and walking on eggshells that usually crop up at some point during the holidays. This year, I just have to avoid feeling guilty for moving all the way across the country and not going home for the holidays. I will miss my family, especially my 90 year old grandmother, but I’m really just looking forward to enjoying some good food, some good company, and some down time with my fiance without the extra side of family drama.